


Crooked

by lafbaeyette, PaperThinRevolutionary (SingFortissimo)



Series: 31 Fic Challenge [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Fluff, Multi, alex in drag, hercules the seamstress god, inspired by Lin in drag, john the hair queen, just a fun fic, laf the makeup man, which this author prays he will redo soon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-11 01:43:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12312180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafbaeyette/pseuds/lafbaeyette, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingFortissimo/pseuds/PaperThinRevolutionary
Summary: “What in theworldare you doing? Everything about you is crooked!”





	Crooked

It’s not like he didn’t _try_ , because really, he did. And he tried way harder than the appearance would have suggested. It’s just that, well… He really didn’t have a single artistic bone in his body when it came to anything beyond literature. 

He was still proud of it, nonetheless, the glowing smile on his messily lined lips showing that to god and everybody, but the second his door creaked open and he turned to face his intruders, it was almost like it was back to square one, right back to the drawing board. 

_“Alexandre, mon chou!”_ Laf shouted, excited to see his friend until he actually saw his friend. He stood stock-still in the doorway, stopping so quickly that the other intruders ran right into him, and nearly toppled him to the ground. Upon regaining his balance, Laf crossed his arms over his chest. “What in the _world_ are you doing? Everything about you is crooked!” 

He wasn’t wrong, no. Alexander was a bit of a hot mess. His wig was tilting, his cat-eyed makeup was uneven, and his smudged lips gave off more of a smirk than the pouty ‘kiss me’ vibe he had been going for. John peeked over Laf’s shoulder and stifled a small laugh. 

“Aw, babe… You could have just called us, we would have been happy to help.” 

“Not that we are going to just leave you like this, _non_ , it is time for a _real_ makeover.” 

Laf stepped forward. With a gentle hand, he took a makeup wipe and began removing the eyeliner placed by probably shaking hands. It certainly looked like it. Unless Alex had been going for that new wavy trend, in which case, he did quite a good job. Next he removed the wig, sitting aside and finally looking over the various pieces of makeup lined up across Alex’s desk. 

“You don’t even have a proper foundation, we have got to get you a better selection,” he told the man, before turning to John, who had followed him into the room. “Can you go grab my bag, on my vanity?” 

John dutifully left to complete the task, leaving Laf and Alex alone. Alex could’ve sworn Hercules had been in the mix at first, but the man had disappeared at some point while Laf was removing the rest of his messy look. “Obviously you are lighter than me, so we’re just going to have to make do with this,” Laf held a foundation that barely matched Alex’s skin tone in his hand, looking at it with disgust, but sighed in resignation and sat it back down. 

“You.. don’t have to do this,” Alex’s voice was soft, and he couldn’t look up at Laf. The other man rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t start doing that thing that you do.” Laf put a hand on Alex’s shoulder, guided the other into a chair. “You speak as if this isn’t as much fun for me as it will be for you.” 

John had settled himself down on the edge of the bed, watching with a grin. “You know Laf is _all about this shit,_ Alex. Don’t fight it, he’s gonna make you look like some sort of goddess.” 

Laf puffed with pride at the compliment and grinned back to John. “Ah, _merci, mon coeur,_ ” He cooed and blew him a kiss, then went back to fixing up his face. “Would you care to do the honors with his hair?” 

After a short moment of consideration, John chuckled and shrugged. “Yeah, fuck it. Why not?” He hummed and moved another chair behind him, opting to start playing with Alex’s natural hair, instead of the wig that the smaller man had really managed to do a number on. Neither of them could say they were surprised at the situation Alex had managed to get himself in, but to catch him in drag on his own volition was certainly something new. 

“Before we get to far,” Laf began, “You must tell us who you were going for.” 

“Who I was--” 

“Who do you wish to be?” 

“Who are you trying to emulate?” John and Laf spoke at the same time, then chuckled to one another when Alex’s cheeks flushed. 

“I… I really don’t, um… Okay, fine. Jennifer Lopez.” 

“An honorable choice,” John said, massaging Alex’s scalp as he hummed and considered what to do with his hair. Meanwhile, Laf worked diligently on Alex’s face. Now that he had a better idea of what to go for, he made sure to accentuate all the right areas, and he worked with much steadier hands than Alex could manage. 

Honestly, the entire process felt kind of nice. John’s hands worked through his hair, and Laf ran various brushes across his cheeks, lids, and nose. He got close enough that Alex could feel his breath against his face, but he was too focused on his work to notice the intimacy of it all. Alex couldn’t avoid it, though, hoping the layers of makeup Laf was applying were enough to cover up the blush he couldn’t avoid. It wasn’t, Laf could feel the heat coming off of his face, but he didn’t say anything. 

Alex lost track of time, letting the other two do whatever they wanted with his hair and face, trusting them entirely. Finally, Laf stood back, tilted his head, and looked at Alex with a smile. 

“I think we are done.” Laf put down the makeup he had been holding and held a mirror out to the other man, so he could see the finished look. 

Alex looked at himself with wide eyes, lips parting in a bit of a gasp. He didn’t even recognize himself after all of this, and he was absolutely _amazed_ that he could really look like this. 

Of course the moment was short lived, and before he knew it, Hercules was bursting back in the room. _Huh, I guess he was here_ , Alex thought to himself, a bit surprised at the flurry the man brought in with him. 

“You are absolutely _not_ done if you think I’m letting you out of here in that thrift shop sweat suit, Hamilton. Now strip. And be careful of the makeup and hair so the boys don’t kill us.” He said with a wink, watching Alexander struggle to get himself stripped down to his boxers again. 

Herc started to hold up different articles of clothing and fabrics he had laying about from commissions that hadn’t gone through. “What time is the party?” 

“We still have about two hours before I have to leave,” Alex said, but immediately regretted it. He should have said it was sooner, if the glimmer in Herc’s eyes had anything to say about it. 

“Good, Time to turn you into a fuckin’ princess.” He said with wide grin that sent a slightly fearful jolt down Alex’s back. 

It felt like he stood there for _hours_ , then Herc was _finally_ done with the transformation. Quick stitches, remade articles, and touches up here and there, and Alexander didn’t even _recognize_ his own reflection. He did a quick turn-around for all of them, ignoring the catcalls he got from John as he did. He was absolutely hypnotized by what they had done. 

“Ah, _mon chou_ , you are going to be the most beautiful girl there.” Laf said with a bright smile. 

Alex turned to face them again, his own eyes glimmering. “This is absolutely amazing.” He whispered and looked to the others with hearts in his eyes. “Do you think, maybe next year you could help me do Selena?” 

If the looks on their faces were anything to go by, Alex had just opened the door for an _interesting_ new Halloween tradition.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello hello everyone! Pip and I are back at it again, with a delayed start to Inktober, so we're just gonna fuck around and say it's a 31 fic challenge ;)


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